We all dread challenging conversations, whether these are taking place in personal or professional settings. The discomfort and fear linked to those could be overwhelming.
You’ve certainly experienced this situation at least once in your life. A certain conversation has to take place but you just don’t want to be the one bringing it up. So you wait. And wait. In your mind, the conversation grows more and more dramatic. You rehearse different approaches and you just don’t know how to handle it.
The number of people that like drama and confrontation is certainly small. Chances are that you aren’t one of these people. Still, it’s possible to master a challenging conversation, make the most of it and even turn things around.
Whether you’re a company manager that needs to have a tough talk with an employee or you’re faced with the task of discussing personal problems with a significant other, a conversation of this kind can fill your heart with fear.
Why are we so afraid of confrontation and talking about tough topics?
According to psychologists, challenging conversations create fear and a sense of “impending threat.” Most people are concerned about the conversation going wrong. They have a worst-case scenario in mind and they think that this scenario could easily be brought to reality.
The prospect of having to go through a challenging conversation decreases the ability to think objectively. Emotions take control and the response becomes instinctive. This is one of the main reasons why the more we postpone such conversation, the more difficult they become to have.
The overly-emotional response to challenging topics leads to a number of common mistakes. Most people are guilty of the same errors:
Having a productive tough conversation is possible, if you keep an open mind and you try to control the emotions. A challenging conversation can lead to the resolution of a big problem, if you’re responsive and respectful.
Avoiding the conversation means that you’ll be holding on to the problem for a long period of time. In this sense, talking about something that makes you anxious is less painful than keeping the negative emotions inside. Gather the courage and follow these steps to deal with it in a mature way:
A difficult conversation can often lead to positive developments in your life. This is why mastering the art of communication is one of the best personal tools to develop. This isn’t an easy task but it can be accomplished. Work on emotional control, be an active listener and maintain respect. If you manage to accomplish those, you will be happy with the outcome.